The other day we were at Home Depot investing in storage bins to keep our new travel trailer neat and tidy. We bought several, in different sizes, and headed to the check out. Stephen has a love/hate relationship with the self check outs – he loves the idea of not waiting in line, but he hates the machine themselves. The storage bins we had chosen were very light weight. Not only did they not want to scan properly, they didn’t seem to register in weight when we placed them on the thingy beside the scanner. The screen kept telling us to call the attendant for help. So we did. The charming and lovely attendant was doing her best to assist us, when BOOM! The entire system went down. Except our till thing. None of the other self check outs were working – except ours, and it was only working with a great deal of complaining. After much laughter all round, we finally got checked out and left.
We realized the bins we had bought were absolutely perfect for the trailer, so went back for more. As we were heading through the store we had the following conversation:
Stephen: Hey, when they ask why we need so many containers I’m gonna tell them it’s to store our sex toys in!
Me: No. You’re not.
Him: Oh yeah I am.
Me: You’re not funny.
Him: Yes I am and you know it. They’ll laugh.
Me: I won’t.
Him: You need to lighten up.
Me: Maybe they won’t ask us why we need so many.
Him: They will.
Me: *casting eyes heavenward* This is me praying to any deity who is listening that the cashier will not ask us why we are buying so many bins.
Him: Deities never listen to you.
Me: *ignores him*
We got to the cash. I pointedly reminded him that we are NOT using the self check out. I breathed a sigh of relief to see a different cashier. As we were checking out we heard a cheerful voice from behind us.
Cheerful Voice: You’re back! Didn’t get enough last trip?
Stephen: No, we needed more.
Cheerful Voice: So what are you doing with all the containers?
Well, Stephen and I looked at one another and just burst out laughing! Cheerful Voice was looking quite confused, so I decided to head Stephen off before he got started.
Me: Funny you should ask that….we were just saying that if anyone asked why we were buying so many –
Stephen: *interrupts me* Yeah, we’re using them to store all our sex toys in!
Me: *drops chin to chest and shakes head*
Him: No, really, we are. This one’s for the – mmmfff.
Me: *slaps hand over his mouth* He’s just kidding, seriously. Honestly, I can’t take him anywhere!
Cheerful Voice: *commiserates* I have one like that. I never know what he’s going to come out with. But hey, they keep us on our toes, don’t they!
Me: They do indeed! Let’s go, mister, before you say something else I’ll regret.
Stephen followed along, grinning happily. But he had to have the last word. As we made our way to the car he muttered, “Told you deities never listen to you!”