Me, Myself, and the absent I.

I had the following argument with myself this morning. Not a post up to my usual standards, but it’ll have to do for now.

Self: Get up.
Me: No.
Self: Get up.
Me: No.
Self: I know you’re awake, so get up.
Me: I said, no.
Self: But…
Me: No
Self: You have things to do.
Me: They’ll still be there to do when I eventually do get up.
Self: But…
Me: No.
Self: Think how much you could get done if you got up now.
Me: I don’t care. I’m going back to sleep.
Self: No.
Me: What?
Self: No, you’re not going back to sleep.
Me: Watch me.
Self: *waits patiently as I turn over about six times*
Self: Told you.
Me: *expletive deleted* I’m warm and cozy here, and it’s a day off. I want to just stay here. Leave me alone. *snuggles into covers*
Self: Get up!
Me: NO!
Self: *listens* And that would be the sound of the garbage or recycling truck coming by. What didn’t you do last night?
Me: *lifts head and listens* CRAP! *leaps out of bed, dons housecoat and fuzzy slippers, whips open the back door and races the recycling and garbage down to the street*
Self: *watches smugly* You got up.

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