A few weeks back I got myself one of those PC Points Plus cards. I buy specific groceries at a President’s Choice kinda store, and I earn points which can be redeemed towards future groceries. Every week they send me special offers telling me what wonderful products I can earn points on, if I purchase them. Mostly it’s stuff that I use because it’s supposed to be tailored to your purchasing patterns. So I buy deli meat, and the next week I get an offer for points on deli meat. You see how that goes. But sometimes it’s for products I never use. Let’s look at one.
Squash. I don’t buy squash. I’m not sure what I’d do with one if I bought it, but for some reason the generous folks at President’s Choice think I should be buying squash. It was on my special offers the first week. 100 points if I bought squash.
I didn’t buy squash.
So the nice folks at PC Plus looked at my groceries and said, hey, wait, she didn’t buy the squash! She has to buy squash. Let’s put it on her offers again.
100 points if I bought squash. I didn’t buy squash.
Oh no, said the nice folks at PC Plus, she’s still not buying the squash! We’re getting a backlog of squash! Offer her more!
200 points if I bought squash. I still didn’t buy squash.
Now the folks at PC Plus were really starting to wonder about me. Why isn’t she buying squash? Everyone buys squash! Offer her more!
300 points if I bought squash. I managed to resist the squash yet again.
And by this point the PC folks were getting worried. If she doesn’t start buying squash, they said, we’re going to have to start throwing the squash out because we’re in an overstock situation. One last try!
400 points if I bought squash. Still, I did not buy the squash.
The poor folks at PC Plus were tearing their hair out now. She buys all the other stuff we offer her points on; what’s wrong with our squash? Throw out all the squash, place a replacement order and offer her more on the squash. So they threw out all the old squash and ordered new squash.
This week the offer came in at 500 points for a squash purchase. I just know the folks over at PC Plus are sitting on the edges of their seats, praying for me to buy squash. Unfortunately, I will not buy the squash. Not even for 500 points will I buy squash. Not even for 1000 points will I buy squash. You see, the nice folk at PC Plus are missing one vital detail –
I don’t like squash.