A bit of a dilemma..

I find myself in a bit of a dilemma…

Anyone who knows me knows the whole story of my separation blah blah blah. My closest friends know all about the reason why I’m not currently planning to file for divorce. Let me explain…

A few years back Paul had a franchise. For some reason, and do not ask me why because I don’t know, he didn’t file income tax returns for the years he was in the franchise. Canada Revenue Agency does not take kindly to this, and caught up with him pretty quick. I knew nothing about this until Dec 2009, when for some unknown reason I opened one of the CRA letters that had been coming for him. When I saw how much they claimed he owed them, I was shocked. What upset me the most however, was that he hadn’t shared any of this with me. I was even further stunned to learn that CRA had been garnishing his wages for some time, and this he also hadn’t told me. When I had questioned why there didn’t seem to be as much money to pay bills, he explained it away as his having to take a pay cut when he sold the franchise and went back into the company.

Long story short, we got our friend who is an accountant to sort out all the mess of taxes and prepare the back returns for submission. I figured since Paul had always received a refund previously, and had been paying through the garnishments, he wouldn’t end up owing much, if anything. So while this was all being sorted out, he ended up leaving in Dec 2010, blah blah blah, you know the story.

Fast forward to my seeing a lawyer to draw up the separation agreement, which included Paul signing over the house to me. Imagine my shock when I learned that CRA had placed a lien on the property for the unpaid taxes. I still believed the amount owing would be small, likely less than $10K, so I wasn’t concerned. I agreed to transfer the property including the lien, which means I technically become responsible for the lien, but the separation agreement stipulates that Paul is responsible for paying off his debt to CRA. Again, remember, I didn’t think it would be much.

So I hadn’t heard anything about what he ended up owing, or when it would be paid off. I could legally file for divorce on Dec 5, but held off. I was planning to use that as leverage to ensure that the lien is paid off and removed. See, here’s my logic….his who-erm, girlfriend apparently wants desperately to get married. Her kids have told my kids that as soon as Paul is divorced, he’ll marry their mom. So I’m guessing that she’s going to be hounding him to get divorced. He can’t afford to. I have to. I want to. However, there’s the matter of the lien. Having lived with Paul for 23 years, I know full well he never gets around to doing anything unless you light a big fire under his butt. I was kind of figuring his girlfriend nagging him to get married and me holding out on the divorce till he got the lien off would all work together to make him pay off CRA and make sure the lien is removed. If it had been less than around $10K, I likely would’ve just paid it off myself.

Problem. I asked him the other day how much he owes. The reply stunned me. $32K. Most of it is late fees, penalties and interest. Which could have been avoided if he’d filed on time….

There’s no way in hell he’s going to be able to pay that off any time soon.
Which means if I hold off on the divorce till he can pay it, I’m going to be waiting a very, very long time.
Which I don’t want to do.
Now, I’m not planning to get married any time soon, if ever, so it’s not like I NEED to be divorced.
But I WANT to be divorced. I have been working the past year to cut the ties that bind me to Paul, and end all connections with him. This is one of the final ones. When the divorce is final, I can then choose to return to my maiden name. Which to me is the final severance.

So what do I do? Do I hold off on the divorce in hopes he’ll come up with some miraculous way of paying off CRA and having the lien removed? Or do I just sigh, trust that he’ll eventually get around to it, and go ahead and make myself very happy by filing for divorce? I can see both sides, and don’t know which to choose….

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2 Responses to A bit of a dilemma..

  1. Dawn says:

    Well, that certainly is a dilemma. I think you should do what in your heart you feel is the right thing to do to make you happy. The late fees and interest are only going to continue to grow.

  2. Heather Smedley says:

    What Dawn said!!

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