So in my last post about this book I pointed out the similarities with FlyLady, and how I was already familiar with, and working with those concepts. The next series of essays in March were along similar lines, and again are things that I have already begun incorporating in my life. though I can’t say I arrived at them from any particular source, other than my own sense of what had to be done.
March 18 is entitled “Awakening Sleeping Beauty”, and she says:
In every one of us there lies a sleeping beauty waiting to be awakened…..
She talks about the story of Sleeping Beauty pricking her finger on a spindle and falling into the deep slumber.
What was your spindle? Was there a moment when you pricked yourself and fell into a deep slumber? Or did you just slowly shut down? Perhaps the cruel enchantment was caused by overly critical parents, by a devastating breakup, or by a numbing reliance on food, drugs, or alcohol.
It’s time to awaken, sleeping beauty. Your creativity, imagination, and authentic sense of style are far superior to any sorcerer’s spell, no matter how strong. One can never change the past, only the hold it has on you.
She goes on to give exercises in learning to love yourself, learning to be kind to yourself, and learning to develop self confidence. And this is where I think it all applies to my life as of the past year.
Paul did me a favour in leaving. He woke up the sleeping beauty who had just been cruising on autopilot for many years. He made her stand up, be strong and cope with things she had avoided for so long, and in doing so she developed her own sense of self and self worth, and her self confidence increased.
I genuinely do like myself. I had no trouble with her exercise to stand in front of a mirror and find ten things I love about my outer self. Nor did I have any trouble finding the twenty things I love about my personality. (Good thing she wasn’t looking for things we didn’t like, as I could’ve easily listed those too, lol!) And over the past year I have begun treating myself nicer. I wear makeup regularly; I dress in clothing that makes me feel good, even if I’m just sitting at home doing nothing. Yes, there are still days that call for jeans and a ratty sweatshirt, but that’s by choice now, not because I just can’t be bothered with anything else. And she’s right. All of that does make me feel better. It does give me greater self esteem, and it does boost my self confidence. With all the lawyers and bank people I’ve been dealing with lately, when I can stride into a room dressed up, my heels clicking on the floor, a big smile on my face – it makes it so much easier to confidently walk up to those people and extend a hand to shake, like I’m someone special, because, damn it, I AM SOMEONE SPECIAL! I am ME! And it doesn’t get any better than that!