Here’s where I’m at:
1. Seeing mom’s house affected me more than I thought it would, and I’m feeling, for lack of a better word, odd, about it. And it hurts.
2. Breaking up with Andre hurt a hell of alot more than I thought it would. I am well aware that we are not suited as a couple. I am well aware of a lot of things. But the bottom line is that I cared for him, and I miss him a lot. So it hurts. And some of my friends are making comments that are upsetting me, given the way I’m feeling. So I don’t feel really comfortable talking to pretty much anyone about how I feel.
3. I have the sinus something-or-other from hell and my entire face just aches.
4. Brianna turned 16 and got her G1, which has dredged up a whole lot of emotions I hadn’t expected.
5. I have a collection agency calling about a credit card of Paul’s I was supposed to pay off, but which I only got the bill/balance for early this week. Mind you, they’re not after me, they’re after him, but it’s still unsettling.
6. Frank has apparently reverted to his pre-Thanksgiving pattern of far less frequent contact.
7. Tomorrow is the third anniversary of my mother in law’s death. I still miss her.
8. Last night was the first night in ages I slept for 5 straight hours. I’m constantly tired.
9. I have a million little things that need to be done, but I just can’t get there. Something keeps coming up – like a nap.
So, you know, I think I’m entitled to be a bit pissy. I think I’m entitled to be miserable and take some time to whine and bitch about life. Mind you, I’ll do it to myself because there isn’t anyone I really want to burden with my crap right now. I just hope my weekend in Cloyne helps….