And so it goes…

I broke up with Andre today. I knew it was coming. I initiated it, after weeks of thinking about it. It’s amicable enough, he’s still going to finish my painting, we’re staying friends.

So why does it hurt so damned much? Really, I feel like I was the one dumped instead of the one who did the dumping, it hurts that much. I know my friends are happy; none of them liked him. But I hurt.

And I went through Mom’s house today. Saw all the changes. It was amazing, how much he’d done in a short time. It looks incredible. On the one hand, I was thrilled and happy to see it, and know that someone is going to buy it and be happy there, but on the other hand it was hard and emotional to see all the changes and to know that’s what my mom could’ve lived like, had she chosen to. Both kids went with me, and Julie and Gayle for support. I didn’t realize I needed them until they were there…. I ran into a number of my old neighbours come to check out the changes, which was lovely to see. Maureen came up, and I went back to her place with her for a bit as Shane wanted to ask me something about the porch railings.

A strange day. Very emotional and stressful.

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3 Responses to And so it goes…

  1. Heather Smedley says:

    Perhaps it will hurt you less to think about your mother’s life-style if you re-read the sentence in which you wrote “had she chosen”….it really DOES all come down to the choices we make..

  2. suemrsue says:

    Yes, I am well aware she chose it, and I know we cannot make choices for other people. But that does not lessen the pain we feel when their choices are to their detriment.

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